I hate failure. People more mature than me will disagree on principle, but it sucks when I fall short after diligently practicing and curating a good headspace. Even when I attempt to set a goal within my skill level I can still find myself in a downward spiral of self-esteem. I've heard it said that "the more you learn, the less you know" and I think it's also true that the more skilled you become the more likely you are to be disappointed. As a result of more frequent disappointment, I've been attempting to reframe success for myself. A quote from Maya Angelou has stuck with me lately –

"Success is liking yourself... liking what you do, and liking how you do it." In a world where contentment feels secondary to ambition, let's journey together to define success.

Success is liking yourself…

Negative self-talk has been a life-long struggle of mine. I’ll call myself a "dumb f&#%" for missing a putt, all while my friends get words of affirmation and encouragement regardless of whether they feel like they deserve it. We should treat ourselves with the same respect we show other people. Coaching yourself by reacting negatively to bad outcomes only reinforces that you don't deserve to have fun if you're not winning. Giving yourself grace makes it possible to enjoy the learning process. More than just grace, you need to be your biggest advocate. Coach yourself like you would a kid learning their first instrument. Do you think they'll be stoked to start a band if all they ever hear is how bad they are? Be sure and give yourself a high five for a nice throw-in, a smart decision that paid off, or just an overall mistake free round.

…success is liking what you do…

Competition relies on comparison as a means for determining who "wins," but that should have very little to do with how you evaluate yourself or your satisfaction. I'm not feeling sorry for myself after playing a solid real life round just because some local with a grocery bag of discs holds the course record. The satisfaction I feel comes from how I deliver on my own expectations, goals, and aspirations. I'm guessing at some point you enjoyed playing Disc Golf Valley, and it wasn't because you were very good at it. Something about grinding that -9 on Owlwood got you hooked and you couldn't put your phone down until you finally stuck that final island green. Somewhere along the way you've come to a place where being T-1 and losing ELO has you pissed as hell rather than feeling accomplished for playing a clean round. Our hobbies should be what fill our cups for the week ahead. You can choose to spend your precious free time feeling sorry for yourself, but I would much rather choose to like what I’m doing. Don't be a martyr for your hobbies.

…success is liking how you do it.

How you play this game matters, more so for your enjoyment than for any other reason. Very recently, I made a bet with Pus Pus that I could play better than him in Worlds. Now, my in-game name is "PUSPUSISTHEGOAT." This guy literally used one of his disc slots on a pizza box… during Worlds. Then there's this other guy, Smuh, who led the field 3 out of 5 rounds to win his first World Championships. This guy ran the ace on Northern Breeze 1, the eagle on Kaho Backwoods 8, the albatross on Kaho Park 2, and probably a whole lot of other lines that I would have taken a horrible score by trying. And THEN there's RodneyG, who finished top 50 by laying up Lost Island 8, Coyote Canyon 3, Coyote Canyon 7, Lakeside 5, Frozen Valley 4, and many other holes that Smuh decided were worth full sending. The "perfect line" for any given hole looks different for everybody, and one of the purest joys in disc golf is seeing the shot you imagined come to life seconds later. Be true to yourself and play your game the best way you know how, even if it's at the expense of what you think other people see as reasonable.

Reality Check

People idealize winning because they think it will justify all the frustration of losing. I know better than most how amazing it feels to win, but those wins mean doodley squat if every loss feels proportionally disappointing. Winning can’t be the benchmark of success if you want to consistently enjoy Disc Golf Valley, or anything for that matter. I'm here to tell you that you're successful because you chose to humble yourself enough to learn something new and attempted to be better than you used to be. If you choose to be your loudest advocate, if you choose to enjoy something for the love of being challenged, and if you choose to be your undiluted self in the process, then you're already a success.

Reese Hight

2x World Champion